For the week of:
Saturday, July 21, 2001
How does a movie like "Montana" slide so thoroughly under the radar that you can see it on HBO on a slow Saturday night, expecting nothing, and be knocked out? How does a movie with a cast that includes Stanley Tucci, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Kyra Sedgwick and Robbie Coltrane go so unnoticed? How can you not love a movie that has a scene in which a professional killer is being forced to dig her own grave and a small boy wanders by and asks brightly: "Whatcha doing? Diggin' a hole?" Sly script, deadpan direction, black humor to burn... and as of this writing, $2.99 used at Amazon.11:06 PM...yes? []
Fun with American history: The Hilton hotels were considered such a sterling example of postwar capitalism that some were actually built with money from the Marshall Plan. That's just one of the cool facts excavated in a new book about the role of the Hiltons in Cold War propaganda. Author Annabel Jane Wharton quotes Conrad Hilton: "Each of our hotels is a little America, (built) to show the countries most exposed to communism the other side of the coin." It sure must have seemed like a good idea at the time, although the time when a huge, glassy, air-conditioned box was thought to represent the best of America seems long ago and far away -- as irretrievable as the swanky design now obscured under the bland facades of the chain hotels that used to be the jewels in the Hilton crown. (Requires free New York Times login and password.)
8:39 PMElmer Henderson died last week. I'd never heard of him either, but he was one of those little-known figures who wrestled history around into a different direction. You learn about the most amazing people reading obits.1:26 PMI don't know about you, but if I were a 94-year-old quadruple Oscar winner, the very first thing I would want the world to know is that I had a urinary tract infection.10:57 AMWe all knew the world was shrinking, but it now seems possible to encompass the whole thing in 180,000 square feet. Well, the food, anyway, at Jungle Jim's International Farmer's Market in Fairfield, OH, "Where grocery shopping is an adventure." (The original drafts of the slogan, "Where grocery shopping is a nightmare" and "Where grocery shopping is an acid trip gone awry," tested poorly.) Demographers tell us that the American palate is changing and Jungle Jim's seems to be the proof. "We used to get complaints from international customers that our cashiers were looking at their fish heads funny," owner Jim Bonaminio tells abcnews.com. "Now everyone's accustomed to 'em." Maybe so. But I don't believe I will ever get accustomed to the Giant Mushroom produce canopy.10:53 AMKottke.org's photos of London reminded me to put up this picture, of a playground just east of the Millenium Wheel in Southwark. Conclusion: those London toddlers are tough.10:33 AM
Friday, July 20, 2001
God bless Iggy Pop. (Best line: "The paper did not say why Pop wanted the dwarves.")3:05 PMVia common street trash, here's an archive of vintage comic-book ads. Gloriously cheesy products, supersaturated colors, migraine-inducing teeny type... you can practically smell the ink. And man, dig those ugly-ass Bruno Magli Juicemobiles.3:03 PMWait a second. If them aliens is so smart, how do we know they aren't faking the signatures? I mean, hell, a super-intelligent race of alien masterminds from out of space -- they could probably learn to forge my John Hancock pretty good. I better wait. Better not sign. Better just kinda... hunker down. Go off the grid for awhile. Lay in some canned goods, some gold bullion and a box or two of Teflon-coated .357s... Yeah. Better wait. Yeah. Wait. Yeah.
2:36 PMFlash: Time Travel is Real! Want to journey back a whole year? Go to the Columbia Journalism Review's page of U.S. newspaper links and click on the link for the Philadelphia Daily News. But be prepared to be whisked away to a magical wonderworld where it's still last summer and the Republicans are converging on The City of Brotherly Love to nominate-- well, I'd hate to spoil the fun.2:27 PMHumbug and flapdoodle: Slate's Michael Kinsley on the demagoguery behind the perennial non-issue of a flag-burning amendment: "I deplore (flag-burning) no more than I would the burning of a copy of the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution or a model of the Lincoln Memorial. The flag is the least American of our patriotic icons. Its design says nothing distinctive about us except that we were 13 colonies and are now 50 states. Flag worship is the emptiest form of patriotism. It has no direct connection to the values that really make America exceptional."10:21 AMThe Gate's Mark Morford on the Webbys... and, from the archives, a piece on the upside of the dotcom bust, which is that it allows entertaining eccentrics like "Jesus" and "Peter Pan" to claim their share of the spotlight. Morford is the guy behind The Gate's wonderful "Morning Fix," from which I frequentlystealborrow, and you can too, by signing up here. (By the way, congrats and an honorary Webby to Mark for actually getting two columns out of one awards show.)10:02 AM
Thursday, July 19, 2001
Now who says Louisiana ain't colorful, hear? Police in Bayou Blue nabbed a naked man on charges that he robbed the store where he worked, boosted a car, stole a dog and just generally lived the lyrics of a bad country song. Oh yeah: he was naked, see, in the hopes that he would be invisible to the cops. Well, hell, if that's all it took I never would have gotten arrested that time at Fenway Park.7:24 PMWow. Irony. Historical irony. GM, after a $10 million gift to the Smithsonian Institution, is about to get a major exhibition space named after it -- the General Motors Hall of Transportation, which will house a $20 million "America On the Move" exhibit of cars, trains and motorcycles. Hmm... I wonder if they'll save any space for the Red Cars.Well, maybe that's a cheap shot. There's genuine disagreement about whether GM engaged in a conspiracy starting in the late 1930s to buy up and dismantle interurban rail lines around the country, and so promote sales of automobiles. Among others, The Straight Dope doesn't buy it; among others, the conspiracy-minded folks at disinfo.com do. The story also figured prominently in the movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Me, I don't know... Does it really seem likely that a huge corporation would engage in ruthless anti-competitive practices to crush its business rivals?
4:21 PM3:55 PMThere's so much good stuff in this brief abstract that it's barely necessary to read the full Philadelphia Inquirer story. First, there's the news that Philadelphia banking customers are now officially chattel, as Mellon Financial Corp. announces plans to sell "its 345 branches and 650,000 customers." Phew, thanks! For a minute there I was in actual danger of feeling like an individual! The chairman of Mellon goes on to say that the bank is abandoning middle-income savers and borrowers to, quote, "return to our roots" handling investments for rich people and big businesses. Aww... back to their roots. That's nice, isn't it?11:31 AMGood AP piece today about Midland, TX, one of the quintessential oiltowns, in its post-boom years. Even the native son in the White House can't bring back the glory days, try as he might. (This is the same part of Texas covered in exquisite detail in Buzz Bissinger's "Friday Night Lights," one of the great works of reporting.)
10:59 AMThis might be my favorite needlessly literal-minded quote of the week... from Brittany (of course), a 17-year-old New Jersey kid who is part of a group that tries to keep young people safe online: "Even if we got one more parent to not be afraid to let their child on the Internet, or saved one child from a predator, that would be good. But we're obviously going for a lot more than one."10:39 AMOh, shut up (Pt. II).10:30 AM
Wednesday, July 18, 2001
Fun with streaming video: Who says webcasts are useless? Watching the live stream of the Webbys, I learned an amazing thing: the guy behind Peter Pan's Home Page talks like Steve Van Zandt.7:30 PMApparently information doesn't really want to be free.2:03 PMThanks to Megnut for this pointer to NASA's JSC Digital Image Collection, a staggering resource for anybody with an interest in the history of the space program. You can dip in anywhere, but for sheer drama, just compare these photos of Mission Control before and after the safe return of the Apollo 13 crew.1:31 PMFrom kottke.org: "If you fold a £10 note just so, grafting the upper half of Charles Darwin's head onto the bottom half of Queen Elizabeth's head, you end up with John McEnroe."11:32 AMAlso in the Mercury News this morning, a report that a new Internet startup -- that's right, I said "a new Internet startup" -- is opening a server farm in a bastion of the old economy: the abandoned Wrigley gum factory in Santa Cruz, which apparently has "eight-inch-thick concrete walls and four-inch-thick wooden floors, (and) was once designated as an official bomb shelter by the federal government during the Cold War." It does occur to me ask why the manufacture of Doublemint required a facility that could withstand nuclear winter, but never mind -- shine on, you crazy diamonds!
10:52 AMThis is beautiful: Remember how rolling blackouts were going to leave California gasping for breath this summer, her helpless citizens huddled in the dark as huge mutant rats roamed the lawless streets, looting and killing with impunity? Now the Mercury News reports that the state has surplus power, which it is selling on the spot market at a huge loss.10:41 AMThe New York Times's front-page obit for Katharine Graham is well worth reading, for a few reasons. It bears remembering that this is the woman who faced down the Nixon administration in rooting out Watergate, and overruled her own lawyers in deciding to publish the Pentagon Papers. Let me repeat that -- a corporate executive who overruled her own lawyers. That aside, her story is simply a great yarn, encompassing so many of the things we're fascinated with in American life: wealth, class, power, gender, self-transformation. (It is, of course, easier to transform yourself if you're an heiress than if you work in a Schlotzky's. But that's for another time.) Finally, the Graham obit sits side-by-side with one that might otherwise be missed, for Mike Saltzstein, co-owner and caretaker of the last remaining classic carousel at Coney Island. Saltzstein died a death rich in pop-cult symbolism: his partner discovered his body when he failed to show up for work on the 4th of July. (Both obits require free New York Times login and password.)10:23 AM
Tuesday, July 17, 2001
Let's say that just once, in an overabundance of youthful high spirits, you had tried to walk out of Tower with an unpaid-for CD stuck down the front of your pants. You know what would have happened? A pitiful little siren would have blown and the rent-a-cop in the bad black polo shirt would have managed to stop yawning long enough to tap your shoulder and wave you back into the store. Here's the only reason I bring it up: That's better security than they have at the FBI.
7:20 PM3:34 PMThe fatal wedgies: In what may be the most bizarre murder case of the year, defendant Kenneth Fitzhugh of Palo Alto blames the death of his wife on a pair of black, backless Cole Haan shoes with an inch-and-a-half wedge heel -- "the goddamn black shoes" that he says caused Kristine Fitzhugh to trip and fall down the basement stairs. "I must have told her six times to get rid of the black shoes," an anguished Fitzhugh told police. "And then she bought some red ones just like them." The videotaped remarks are the centerpiece of the prosecution's case, which is expected to close today. The stand will then be taken by one of the Fitzhughs' sons, who -- okay, remember now, his mother is dead, possibly murdered, and his father is on trial for it -- has been on a trip. (This is apparently the same kid Fitzhugh referred to in his police interview as "her older son." Detectives asked: "You said, 'Her older son?' Is he not your son?" Fitzhugh's answer: "No. He's our son.")10:37 AMHey, you like games? Here's a game we can all play! It's called "Which Is Most Depressing?" Pick one:1) The prospect of a live-action theme-park version of "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire"
2) A prospective host saying "I was thinking of replacing my monologue with how my day is going. It might be a little more entertaining"
3) The phrase "Regis Philbin wannabes"
4) The news that drinking water in 18 states is contaminated with rocket fuelCome on, play along! I'll be in the garage, hanging myself!
10:10 AM
Monday, July 16, 2001
Okay, yeah yeah yeah, I know, capitalism is inherently evil and needs to be overthrown. But Jeez, don't do that, you scared me. (Spoiler: this is a stupid web trick with an ideological bent. It appears to take over your system, but doesn't. If you panic, as I did, and start screaming like a schoolgirl, as I did, select the fake "Start menu" button, then "Shut down.")5:52 PMIt's official: Internet raises dysfunctionality to level of art.4:37 PMActually, I hope Charlie Sheen (see below) is watching the Robert Downey case. It should send a strong signal to rich, well-connected drug abusers that if you mess up you will be sent straight back to jail, provided you mess up a very high number of times.3:44 PMWow... via rebecca's pocket, this report by the straight-shooting fellas 'n' gals at Philip Morris. PhilMorrCo officials in the Czech Republic are advising that smoking is not, repeat not a drag on the national economy... in part because smokers' early deaths help offset medical expenses. See? It's true! Smoking is good for you!11:21 AM"Our bad. Totally on us. Sorry, sorry... That was us. It's all on us. Sorry. Sorry." Actually, CBS is remarkably uncontrite over the news that "Big Brother" heartthrob Justin "Would You Get Mad If I Killed You" Sebik apparently has five arrests on his record, including three for assault. According to Bill Carter in The New York Times, "A senior CBS executive said Mr. Sebik's background had been thoroughly checked by an experienced, 'highly professional' security agency -- the network declined to name it -- and that he was cleared to take part in the program.... But just a brief effort by The New York Times [translation: an intern with an Internet connection] last week found evidence from the Bayonne Municipal Court that a Justin Sebik, with the same Social Security number as the person on the show, had been arrested five times." (Requires free New York Times login and password.)
10:50 AM"My bad. Totally on me. Sorry, sorry... That was me. It's all on me. Sorry. Sorry." Venture capitalist John Doerr has issued an extraordinary public apology for his famous pre-bust statement that the Internet would make possible "the largest legal creation of wealth in the history of the planet." It does seem likely, however, that Doerr was speaking under duress. A close examination of the videotape reveals that he was blinking a rapid Morse code that spelled out the words "E-commerce works... Tech stocks are undervalued... Webvan and eToys will be back... "10:18 AMCharlie Sheen, who is reportedly drug- and hooker-free -- which could explain the vaguely gloomy look he always seems to have on his face these days, like a guy who discovered the secret to an incredibly great life but then was ordered by the court to forget it again -- is selling his "ultimate bachelor pad." The scoop is here, in a report by The Gate which is less notable for salicious detail than for this mystifying, apparently uncopyedited passage: "The four-bedroom home overlooking Malibu Lake includes a gym and a guest house, which Sheen calls 'the aqua room' since he simulates an underwater experience with walls of salt water aquariums and replica of a 17th century gallon." No cheap jokes at The Gate's expense today -- I'm too busy mourning the possibility, now lost forever, of a weekend invite.9:59 AM
Sunday, July 15, 2001
"Now you know how boys are. George W. is high-spirited, it's true, and his mother and I don't deny that he likes his fun. But he's trying hard in his new job and his heart's in the right place and we just feel that he should get an 'E' for Excellent Effort! So if it's a matter of the window in the Royal Palace, well, boys will be boys with their Frisbees and whatnot, and Mrs. Bush and I would be glad to pay for whatever it costs to replace the glass. So come on, what do you say. Don't roll him like Putin did. He's a little slow, but he's trying. That oughta count for something."
2:46 PMIt isn't the psychopathic completeness of Kilokat's Antique Light Bulb Site that appeals to me... the fact that if you wanted to find, say, a picture of an 8" Serpentine Geissler Tube, you could. It's that fact that you can send the image as an e-postcard. ("Hi Phyllis and Al! Peggy and the kids and I are having a great time in British Columbia! Butchart Gardens are beautiful, and here's a postcard of an 8" Serpentine Geissler Tube! Back the 17th!")1:43 PMWith the creepy lack of self-awareness and tin ear for irony that seem to mark so much corporate self-promotion, the web site for One Central Park/AOL Time Warner Center (and man, how's that for an address that just trips off the tongue?) offers life "at the center of everything." Hey, fellas... ? That's exactly what everybody thought was so scary about the merger. (Link via Memepool.)12:53 PM
