My most recent work is collected at Pressfolios.



Selections From My "Breaking Bad" Fan Fiction
(The New Yorker, August 2013)

Don Draper Wears Out His Welcome (The New Yorker, May 2013)

Things I Would Like To Say The Half-Empty Bottle of NyQuil On My Night Stand (The New Yorker, March 2013)

Recently, in The New York Times (The New Yorker, February 2013)

My Drone 'n' Me
(The New Yorker, January 2013)

Important Last-Minute Debate Prep (The New Yorker, October 2012)

Le Blog De Jean-Paul Sartre (The New Yorker, October 2012)

My Name Is Joe Biden And I'll Be Your Server (The New Yorker, October 2012)

PR Tips From Jack White's Old-Timey Publicist (The Bygone Bureau, September 2012)

Ask Curiosity (The New Yorker, August 2012)

Me, Al Franken and The Worst Meeting In The History of Show Business: A True Story (Boing Boing, July 2012)

Adam Lisagor Is Advertising's Quietest Pitchman (Fast Company, September 2011)

Hulu, PhD (Fast Company, March 2010)

Fast Talk: Double Vision (Fast Company, February 2009)

The Best Super Bowl Ad Ever! (Fast Company, February 2009)

Little Shop of Horrors (Fast Company, October 2008)

License To Run Amok (Fast Company, July/August 2008)

Cheesy Goodness (Fast Company, May 2008)

Vinyl Frontier (Fortune Small Business, November 2004)

Laugh Tracker
(Fortune Small Business, April 2004)

Three Wheels To Glory
(Fortune Small Business, April 2004)

Sweet Things, Small Packages
(Fortune Small Business, March 2004)

Death & The Salesman (Fortune Small Business, March 2004)

Plastic Lens (Fortune Small Business, February 2004)

Fat Profits? (Fortune Small Business, February 2004)

Selling Cynicism (Fortune Small Business, December 2003)

Fit to Print (Fortune Small Business, November 2003)

Hasten Down The Wind (Slate, August 26 2003)

Would You Like Fries With That Curly Endive?
(Slate, August 1 2003)

Just Take The Money! (Time, June 9 2003)

Booze Blues (Time, May 5 2003)

The Other Beach Boys
(Slate, March 7 2003)

Profit in Parody (Time, December 9, 2002)

In My Lifes (American Journalism Review, December 2002)

The Spike Report (USC Annenberg Online Journalism Review, November 11 2002)
(Now defunct, sadly. Archives have been taken offline.)

Game Face (Time, October 14 2002)

Investing in Bad Habits (Time, September 23 2002)

Let's Talk Trash (Time, September 16 2002)

The Spike Report (USC Annenberg Online Journalism Review, August 28 2002)

The Spike Report (USC Annenberg Online Journalism Review, August 21 2002)

The Spike Report
(USC Annenberg Online Journalism Review, August 14 2002)

Aphrodisiacs on CD (Slate, July 24 2002)

The Spike Report
(USC Annenberg Online Journalism Review, May 31 2002)

The Spike Report (USC Annenberg Online Journalism Review, May 30 2002)

Bless This House Show
(Slate, May 15 2002)

Listen, Spot
(Time, May 13 2002)

Mojave Modern (Time, April 2002)

Why Not Try Wi-Fi?
(Time, April 22 2002)

(Slate, February 7 2002)

The Trippy World of Juan Garcia Esquivel
(Slate, January 24 2002)

Tracking Tricks and Treats
(Slate, October 30 2001)

The Overstuffed World of AIP
(Slate, October 29 2001)

Music For TV Dinners
(Slate, October 2 2001)

American Made columns (American Heritage, 1989-90)

The Secret of Life
(The New Yorker, May 1989 -- paywalled)

Small Town
(The New Yorker, May 1989 -- paywalled)



In September 1987 Newsweek published my piece "I Stayed Up With Jerry," a sleep-deprived real-time account of that year's Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon. It was later anthologized in Al Sarrantonio's "Fireside Treasury of New Humor."

This ended up being, by far, the most widely-read and fondly-remembered story I did at Newsweek. It was a kind of demented landmark in my career. So, in honor of the 25th anniversary of its publication, I've decided to post the original, unedited and very long manuscript. (I'm not kidding about the length. The piece was, in draft form, so tremendously lengthy that when I filed it to my editor, Dominique Browning, she called me into her office and said: "I get it. I see. You want me to kill this so you can go sell it to Rolling Stone, right?" She didn't kill it, for which I've always been grateful. She did, however, cut it mercilessly.)

Here it is, for the first time in unexpurgated form. (PDF)


I'm also cited in the definitions of the words "nexus" and "glitz" and the phrasal verb "haul off" in The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, an obscure honor of which I am unreasonably proud.