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Monday
Jul032006

"And here's Miles with a nutty story about death from the skies!"

You have to love CNN for its devil-may-care approach to Armageddon. LARGE ASTEROID ZIPS PAST EARTH, The Most Trusted Name In Newstertainment banners a story about a half-mile-wide boulder that just came within 269,000 miles of torching the Earth, melting the polar ice caps and sending what's left of our planetary home into a second Ice Age. The "Everybody mambo!" part is, I guess, implied.

Alas, that kind of tone-deafness is typical of cable news. Maybe the broadcasters need some help. Maybe they need a succinct set of guidelines. Herewith, as a public service, some suggestions:

FORBIDDEN WORDS 2006 (Cable News Edition)

  • Chilling
  • "What do you think? We want to hear from you."
  • Blogosphere
  • Dramatic
  • "You're in the Situation Room."
  • Tragedy
  • "Your {insert noun here} headquarters"
  • Lockdown
  • {Insert noun here} Watch
  • Ominous
  • Shocking
  • Icon
  • "Stay tuned for Rita Cosby."

Other nominations? Send 'em along.

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